Until I get back to writing my novel…
I’ve been thinking about a few things. I have come to the unequivocal conclusion that I just might be the last remaining, genuine sex symbol of our age.
The more I think about it, the more obvious it gets. Let’s review a couple of facts:
Since the passing of Clark Gable, Bobby Boy Kennedy, and a few others of that generation, there hasn’t been that many new sex symbols. Do you need more than one hand to count the number of guys that women (and a few men) have been swooning over?
George Clooney is now getting to the age where he can only smile at younger women. Sure, he might still be cute, but so are babies and puppies, no?
Where does this leave us?
What it really comes down to is essentially me, Brad Pit, and Bart Simpson. Barty Boy could be a challenge, my daughter secretly finds him attractive, as do many young girls. But I feel we can rule him out because, while he’s got some cool, he’s only a cartoon figure.
Barty Boy - Got some 'cool'
Now, let’s think long and hard about me and Brad.
Thinking long and hard about it
Back in the days my mama used to ask me to think long and hard about things. There were days, for instance, when she would see me in the kitchen (which was essentially the right side of the one-room house we lived in), and she would know what I was thinking. We had no fridge – not because we had anything against fridges, we just didn’t have the money to buy one. I’d see the last bag of cookie in the cupboard and make my way towards it.
My mama would say to me: “Think about it long and hard mister.” She’d use her calm, cold voice.
I’d know her intentions right away.
That’s something my mama used to ask me to do often, think long and hard about my actions. I tried it many times back in the days. The problem is, I generally could not figure out what all that thinking was supposed to lead to. Nothing concrete or material ever came from thinking long and hard…well, except for those times when I thought long and hard about girls, and produced a nice, hard erection. This was indeed an immediate, physical, concrete outcome of a thought. For all other times, the only result from thinking long and hard was a long hard thought.
Anyway, I have been thinking long and hard about me and Brad and I’ve come to the conclusion, as I mentioned before, that I am indeed the last great sex symbol of our generation.
The problem with Brad is that he is the pretty boy type of sexy, which is so out of style. We are now talking new generation here! Facebook, Twitter, Issuu, and all that. This generation doesn’t go for pretty boy sexy. They go for gangsta, rude bwoy, shotta, don. They want the Original Rude Bwoy. Brad or Jay-Z? It’s Jay-Z all the way bro’! That’s what girls want! And guess what?
Original Rude Bwoy
This is my time!